That Weak Parent Moment:  The end of the day has come, departmental project complete, soccer practice over, dinner digesting, and all kids showered.  However, all is NOT DONE.  The kids are teleporting around in pajamas and what appears to be the Holy Ghost, or the type of motivation that only 5-Hour Energy can provide.  Either way, why is their energy level at a 10 when you are at 1?  While you allow the pondering of that question to totally deplete you… go to your room, lock the door and collapse on the bed.  Good luck kids, hope y’all sort it out and eventually get some sleep.

The Problems:

  • You’ve pushed yourself to the working limit all day, and as soon as you see your kids, that energy seems to have snuck out the back door.
  • It’s beer o’clock somewhere, and your kids are basically “drunk midgets”.
  • Maybe you can watch at least one episode of your favorite show on Netflix.
  • You “can’t even”

The Internet says kids need 10-14 hours of sleep each night.  Since you, hopefully, wake up at least an hour before your kids do, they should be fast asleep (not just in bed) 1-5 hours before you do.  Don’t expect any pre-teen or below to be responsible enough to get enough sleep on their own!  You have to be the adult that makes it happen.

The Answers:

  • If you’re already a lifetime coffee addict, limit your caffeine intake to two cups a day; one for the morning, and one for the afternoon.
  • If not a current caffeine consumer, try some caffeinated tea or coffee (not soda) in the afternoon.  Late enough to allow you to handle the kids, but early enough so you can go to bed at a decent time.
  • If they are at least 5 years old, start having them shower themselves and get dressed for bed.  It will take some practice, but in the end they can tire themselves out while you watch that show (one episode, remember?).
  • Man up (so to speak)!  They are your kids, and you are entrusted with ensuring they are not jerks to other people.  So put more effort into them than a 6pm project deadline!

My Solution:  A wife.  That’s right, I have a wife, which means two parents in the house that can help each other.  However, when she is not around during bed time, I put them to work.  I mean, I micro manage the hell out of them until they say, “daaad, I knooow, I’m doing it… uggghhh”.  Now, I only have to say, “go poo”, “get in the shower”, “putcha jamas on”, and “go to bed” (after a bedtime story)… and to me, that’s saying too much.

Basically, put more effort into raising your kids.  They’ll be mature enough to make the right decisions one day, but now is not that day.  My teen goes to bed when she wants to, and she makes the right decision on going to bed.  She also has to be at the bus stop before most adults wake up; and she knows her bedtime will be 9pm if she makes a habit of being late and grades drop below a B.

Photo by James Garcia via Compfight

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